Welcome to the future - 2028

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Beautifully wordsmithed and modestly qualified reports intended to demonstrate the producers vision, wisdom and knowledge.  A bit like picking the Melbourne Cup winner or the next CryptoCurrency winner, trend reports are often widely overstated and rarely remotely accurate. 

Thanks to the Simpsons freakishly accurate predictions over the past year – we now know that you don’t have to be an expert to guess the future.  Just think of the most ridiculous scenario and you’re probably somewhere in the ballpark.

So in this spirit, put your headphones on, grab a cuppa and pretend you’re carefully considering which of the following predictions to rip of for your first insights presentation of the year. After all...if the Simpsons can forecast the future, why can’t we?

 
 

 

In 2028...

 

 
 
  • Travel - The Shenzhen - San Francisco flight is confirmed as the most popular route for executives in SpaceX’s Interstellar loyalty program. The daily commute is so accessible that living and working on different continents is seen as the new work-life balance. The coffee at the spaceport still tastes crap and costs you twice as much as everywhere else on Earth.

  • Global Passports for Special Economic Zones mean you can catch said SpaceX transport direct to the commercial hub of your choice without having to technically enter the country. The only immigration laws you’re subject to are supply and demand.

  • Cryptocurrencies are your predominate purchase currency. Teenagers will find paper currency ironic, especially that floppy Aussie plastic stuff.

  • Facebook has been in a tailspin for years after regulators apply AI based defamation fines that leave northern beaches housewives with no choice but to return to bitching about her dress in person.

  • The Winklevoss Brothers (now the richest men in the world) subsequently buy Facebook and shut it down. The Social Network Director’s Cut is released with a twist that still manages to surprise Richard Wilkins.

  • President Kanye West hails the peace agreement achieved between Israel and Palestine as being the catalyst for his reelection to a second term and praises Secretary of State, Mr Z, as “the world’s greatest problem solver”.

  • Google Drive and Telsa Ride continue to battle it out as largest transport networks in the world. GM (German Motors), the newly formed conglomerate of Mercedes, Volkswagen, BMW, Audi and Porsche, continue to battle for market share, but manage to make Formula One even more boring by occupying the first ten places on the grid every race.

  • Huawei’s purchase of Apple’s struggling iPhone division is approved by Congress on condition that they continue to produce meaningless incremental upgrades to the 2021 model as a means of avoiding mass suicides within WeWork facilities around the world.

Fun aside, predictions business should take note of are those that discuss the potential of the exponential economy.  That which is completely unrecognisable and imaginable to us today.  Because 2008 doesn’t actually sound that long ago.

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Author: John Halpin